15 Hilarious Jackie Mason Quotes That Will Make Your Day

Jackie Mason Quotes

1 . It’s no longer a question of staying healthy, It’s a question of finding a sickness you like. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

It’s sad how in this era, being healthy is a rare fate. So, as Jackie Mason puts it, we’d rather accept our fate and find a sickness that we like. There’s no other way around it.

2 . I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

We are all rich until we spend money on something. That’s the thing about money, we have enough of it when it is lying dormant in our wallet, but it vanishes in a second even before we know it.

3 . I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

Our hearts are meant to harbor love and not hate. So everything you say and do should be a reflection of that. And what better way is there to love than to make others laugh and bring joy into their life.

4 . Predictions are preposterous. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

The future is uncertain. There’s no way to know what will happen next. And anyone who says they can predict it is either god or just high.

5 . I don’t believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

Comedy is such a difficult thing to make sense of. We can never get our heads around why something is hilarious to us. And this mystic nature of comedy is what makes it so fun.

6 . I have no idea what’s going to happen with our country in the future. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

But then, does anyone even have an idea? The congressmen, the politicians, the intellectuals or the experts? Who among us even knows if the country is headed for the stars or just down a rabbit hole?

7 . I have always found myself trying to study and analyze the world around me, not just taking everything for granted and following whatever is popular. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

Be curious in life. Be excited to learn new things in life, no matter how absurd it may seem. The trends will soon fade away so do not go where the crowd is and take everything for granted.

8 . Every comedian feels out an audience, As you’re telling jokes, if they’re not laughing at this, you change the subject. Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

Every performer, especially a comedian, should know their audience. And if they’re not responding well, that probably means they are bored out of their minds. So use your head and change the goddamn subject before they walk out of their seats.

9 . My comedy doesn’t come from any calculations and studies. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

Comedy is not something that can be explained by elaborate formulas or calculations. One should have a knack for it, or in other words, have a natural sense of humour.

10 . I can’t predict the future and I don’t have respect for people who try to. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

There’s no person, living or dead, who can predict the future with all accuracy. The future is uncertain, and that’s the thrill of it. Those who try to convince you that they can are just trying to fool you.

11 . People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways, No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

People are inherently stupid. They do things that land them in trouble, and they don’t even need a reason to do so. People end up making fools out of themselves very often.

12 . It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

No politician cares about the people. All they care about is their profit and the benefits that they can get. They’ll probably just sell your life if they can make a few bucks out of it.

13 . Anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn’t know what he’s talking about. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

The beauty of humour is in how obnoxious it really is. It doesn’t need to have any philosophical backings or calculations. Humour is simple and that’s what makes it so fun.

14 . I am very proud of my career and that I’ve the health, thank God, to continue doing this for so long. Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

Be proud of what you have. Be proud of where you are right now and all that you are. There are so many things that you can be proud of. You just miss all of that in your everyday hustle.

15 . What usually happens is that people tell you that what they’d like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. -Jackie Mason

Best Jackie Mason Quotes

People like to see what they want to see, not what really is. If someone tells you something that they think will happen, it’s probably what they wish will happen, not what they think really will happen. They just do so to please you.

15 Hilarious Jackie Mason Quotes That Will Make Your Day

1. It’s no longer a question of staying healthy, It’s a question of finding a sickness you like. -Jackie Mason

2. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. -Jackie Mason

3. I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs. -Jackie Mason

4. Predictions are preposterous. -Jackie Mason

5. I don’t believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. -Jackie Mason

6. I have no idea what’s going to happen with our country in the future. -Jackie Mason

7. I have always found myself trying to study and analyze the world around me, not just taking everything for granted and following whatever is popular. -Jackie Mason

8. Every comedian feels out an audience, As you’re telling jokes, if they’re not laughing at this, you change the subject. Jackie Mason

9. My comedy doesn’t come from any calculations and studies. -Jackie Mason

10. I can’t predict the future and I don’t have respect for people who try to. -Jackie Mason

11. People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways, No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary. -Jackie Mason

12. It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. -Jackie Mason

13. Anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn’t know what he’s talking about. -Jackie Mason

14. I am very proud of my career and that I’ve the health, thank God, to continue doing this for so long. Jackie Mason

15. What usually happens is that people tell you that what they’d like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. -Jackie Mason